All good things don't always come in threes

Photos courtesy: rottentomatoes.com 

The funny foursome is back. In Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted,

Alex the lion, Marty the zebra, Gloria the hippo and Melman the giraffe are still trying to get back home to New York, having lost their way in Part 1 of the much-loved sequel. And they’re still getting into a lot of trouble all the way from Madagascar to New York enroute Monaco, Rome and London.

This time they must join a circus and reinvent it Madagascar-style, all to get to the Big Apple and also more importantly escape the clutches of French animal inspector Capitaine Chantel DuBois (Frances McDormand) who must have Alex in her prized collection.

A circus in the storyline obviously means more characters join the pack, who are fun but not really memorable.

 There’s tiger Vitaly (Bryan Cranston) who’s hurt, low on confidence and sports a mean Russian accent. He was once the circus' main attraction but an accident ruins his star-act. 

There’s jaguar Gia (Jessica Chastain) who’s sole purpose for being brought in may just to provide Alex with a love interest, but she’s nowhere near as spunky as him.

 By far the most lovable is Stefano the sea lion and an Italian one at that (Martin Short) and the love story that actually works is the one between the slobbering Sonya the bear and Julien (Sacha Baron Cohen).

The character of Chantel is one that we predict you’ll enjoy the most – she hunts with her nose and in the middle finds time to touch-up her blood red lipstick. The 3D effects, and there’s ample of it, adds that extra bit of fun to the film which will work well if the giggling kids in the cinema were anything to go by.

All in all a fun film, but one that pales in comparison to the laughter of Part 1 and the sheer genius of Part 2.

Note: This article has also appeared in the 9 June edition of Financial World

Ridley Scott's glitzy but ditzy sci-fi

Prometheus hasn’t exactly got the most prolific release in India. But one may still feel the urge to not miss this one. 

Reason number one: It’s a Ridley Scott film. 

Reason number two: it’s a sci-fi Ridley Scott film. The excitement was palpable and with good reason. Scott gave us the chills with 1979’s breakthrough sci-fi film Alien and then perfected that genre with Blade Runner (1982.) He returns 30 years later with Prometheus and no he hasn’t lost his touch.

Dazzling design, technical mastery and the specialist of special effects work very well together in Prometheus and almost cover up a very basic flaw, that of a weak storyline. If only there was a smashing story.

Alas, there isn’t.

Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) are two archaeologists at the heart of a life-changing startling discovery (that’s how it’s projected but hardly how it seems). In 2089, they’ve found a 35,000-year-old cave painting that shows humans worshiping an enormous figure who’s pointing to the stars. What’s more, similar paintings spanning various civilizations over several centuries have been found (slightly unlikely).The scientists believe that these paintings point to the origins of life and where we came from. Lo and behold, a rich benefactor to spend trillions of dollars is found and off they fly in a spaceship (named Prometheus) to find the reason for our existence.

There is a scene in the film when other members of the motley crew onboard is explained their mission. They seem a trifle unconvinced – we felt the same.

As the mission progresses and the crew find this planet in some corner of the Universe, please note they seem to find it easily enough, things start going wrong and the body count starts increasing, starting from the least important actor to the most important one.

What kills them and how grisly are the ET’s this time is what you can hope to discover should you choose to watch Prometheus. Amongst the other actors Michael Fassbender as Prometheus’ very own android is chillingly perfect and Charlize Theron as the spaceship’s captain is chillingly wasted.

Photos courtesy: Prometheus' official websit

I mean, we’re talking about something as monumental as the origins of life, so a little emotion please.

Note: This article has also appeared in the 9 June edition of Financial World

Kishore-Aided Kitschy Fun

Opening shot: Shiny disco balls float by in the sky, dancers appear with guitars that have fire blazing out of its ends, accompanied by the familiar oh so popular tune and notes of Kishore Kumar’s Om Shanti Om ; Just 5 minutes into the musical and we knew we were going to have a gala time. 

‘Jhumroo, a celebration of Kishore Kumar’ does well because it is just that, a celebration of the magnificence of Kishore Kumar.

It’s a simple script with elaborate touches.

It’s the story of Bhola played by actor Gaurav Gera, a happy-go-lucky guy, a big Kishore Kumar fan but with no singing talent whatsoever, hopelessly in love with his office colleague Meena

Meena played by Shweta Gulati, doesn’t in the remotest like Bhola, but she does like singers.

There in begins Bhola’s quest to win over Meena. He takes part in Meena’s favourite singing reality show, with a little ‘inside’ help, when Kishore Kumar’s spirit joins hands with Bhola.

Like in any filmi story, there is the villain who can come in between Bhola’s musical dreams too. Will Bhola win the show and Meena’s heart before everyone finds out the truth is the familiar storyline. And therefore this familiarity needed some solid backing from a lot of other ends.

Thankfully everything does match the grandeur of Kishore Kumar’s songs. The sets, both virtual and real, are opulent and very snazzy. Virtual sets are used to set the moods,the various different backdrops on a scale we’ve never seen before. The virtual spirit of Kishore Kumar is so believable that its eerie. There was not one technical snag and you’re transported from one scene to the other scene almost seamlessly. The choreography by Ashley Lobo is retro and fun, the kind where you think 'Oh I wish I was doing that jig up on that stage.’ 

And then, there’s the aerial choreography. Actors, dancers constantly fly up in the air effortlessly. Infact there’s an entire song, Pyar ke is khel main originally from the film Jugnu, that’s been choreographed with the actors on hand gliders. Fun, indeed.

The negatives? It’s a little too long and we don’t mean the songs. The more than a dozen Kishore Kumar songs is appropriate, you may even be left asking for more. But some of the scenes like Bhola’s introduction and a Navratri scene could have been easily chopped down.

But even then, Jhumroo doesn’t falter. We often found ourselves in the midst of an extremely enthusiastic audience, clapping and hooting along to some classic songs.

In this theatre musical deprived country of ours, Jhumroo is kitschy fun!

Note: A copy of this article has appeared in The Financial World and tehelka.com

Please, let there be no Part 4

Poster courtesy: Wikipedia

WE HAVE A foolproof, wisdom-filled, starkly honest tip for the makers of the Men in Black series and also in particular Will Smith (only because on a normal day we quite like him.) Quit while you’re ahead. Actually, you’re no longer ahead, so just quit. Fifteen years ago, the antics of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones playing the suave MIB protecting the planet against a plethora of alien species, one more disgusting than the other, had scope. It had special effects that were indeed special for that time, a decent script and enough slapstick humour to classify it a superhit. But that was a decade-and-ahalf ago, guys! MIB 2 has come and gone a disaster. Wasn’t that hint enough not to make Part 3?

In Men in Black 3, Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back and also go back in time. When K’s life is in danger and moreover even the fate of our planet is at stake, it’s of course Will Smith to the rescue. Yawn so far.

He will have to travel back in time to put things right. One could, I guess, blame the cast (Tommy Lee Jones looks botoxed, Will Smith jaded), the director for the sloppy direction, the producers for sanctioning MIB 3 in the first place. But the real criminal, or alien in this case, is the screenplay that quite simply doesn’t exist.

Rumour has it that the script was reportedly not even finished when filming commenced and therefore involved many screenwriters to complete. Uh, hint enough somebody, anybody?

Icky alien scenes, always the USP of MIB, take on a new shade of disgusting in Part 3. Sample this one: Agents J and K interrogate an alien at a bowling alley, eventually remove his head and use it as a bowling ball. But there’s a mustiness to these incidents, a deja vu‘I’ve seen this before’ moment. And you have, in Parts 1 and 2.

Amongst the new cast members, Josh Brolin as the younger Tommy Lee Jones is commendable. He emulates the older actor’s stony and blank look so well, you almost think he’s actually a younger Jones. Emma Thompson as Chief O is so wasted. In one unbearably painful scene, they make her shriek like an alien bird.

The 3D effect is as irrelevant as it can be. Please, oh please, let there be no Part 4.

Note: This review has also appeared in Financial World and on Tehelka.com

Be there, do that!

I know what you can do this summer in Europe, and I also have all the lines

Aaah..the Strawberry Daiquiri

One panaromic view of Mykonos

Oh, those tables next to the sea...

Next to my favourite Ice Cream shop they bloomed

The famed windmills..Mykonos's most distinctive feature

An absolute must-do is the Paraportiani Church

The Mykonos marketplace

Who doesn't like pretty cobbled streets?

The woman who decided to take a shower in my Mojito

Mykonos, Greece If you choose Greece, you will only be faced with the predicament of choosing from about a thousand beautiful islands. Most claim that, there is nothing to beat the beauty of the Greek island Santorini. Maybe that’s true, but there’s nothing to beat Santorini’s prices either. So head to Mykonos, the second most popular Greek island at half the price of Santorini. You have to plan your flights to Mykonos early; there aren’t too many of them, most of them don’t fly direct and they don’t fly daily. Another option, could be to fly to Athens and then take a ferry to Mykonos. Oh, and yes, don’t go by the Mykonos Airport. It may look like a warehouse, but you cannot imagine what lies beyond. A charmingly small island, the houses are pristine white and its shutters a gorgeous blue. Once you’ve finished gasping over the sheer blue waters of the Aegean sea, ask the bartender for a chilled cocktail. Another thing about Mykonos, you’ll never wonder about the potency of the drink, they are so potent.

A good line to know: ‘Stin iyia sou’ (cheers)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sun-drenched alleys of Lake Garda

The best food is found in these narrow passages

One B/W of the town centre (Sirmione)

The much revered Lake Garda sunset

Catching a moment of perfection

Pretty town centre that was within a castle

One 'pinch me I can't believe it' picture of the Lake

Lake Garda, Italy 

Every time — and there have been many times — that I’ve made my way to Italy, I always make a promise to my tummy and it goes something like this: ‘I promise to eat every slice of pizza, every strand of spaghetti and every scoop of gelato. And I promise to never step on the weighing scale again.’ And so my tummy and I exist in perfect harmony. Try this tip when you make your way to the Italian lakes. Lake Garda is a charming italian town in close proximity to Milan and Verona. If life in the rest of Italy is slow, Lado di Garda is on another timeline completely. So you can gaze at the pretty lake and enjoy your spaghetti pesto or take a boat ride in the evening for a glance at the revered sunset while enjoying a dark choc gelato.

A good line to know: ‘Era squisito’ (That was delicious)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When in Ireland, drink like an Irish

Picture-perfect landscape part one

Picture-perfect landscape part two

Cliffs Of Moher, Ireland The Cliffs of Moher in Ireland is a beauty. And like everything else in the Irish land, has the wind or rain for company. The cliffs soar 214-metre high and is a listed unesco Geo park. Right from the top as far as the eyes can see, the Aran Islands, Galway Bay, the Twelve Pins, the Maum Turk Mountains in Connemara and Loop Head to the South are all clearly visibly on a good day. But good days are rare and waterproof clothing and umbrellas are a must. On those rainy days head to a good old Irish Pub. A good one is Doolin with its live music sessions and generally happy crowds.
A good line to know: ‘Knee ohl-hee mey gu brawkh
u-reeshch’ (I’m never ever drinking again)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

London, UK 

In what new way can London be described, most adjectives have already been overused. But still if you do find yourself making your way to the city make sure you plan this trip around the Royal Ascot. The centrepiece of the British social calendar as well as the ultimate gathering of the who’s who, this year the Royal Ascot will be held from June 19-23. Tickets can be booked online. On the day of the race the usual 50-minute drive from London can easily become 2 hours 50 mins so leave well in time. As per the rules, bare chests are strictly not allowed. Wacky hats with fruits and feathers and coat tails are the norm. In between the champagne, the strawberries and Pimms (liqueur -based fruit drink), do lay your bets as well, it is kind of about horse-racing after all.
A good line to know: ‘This is the way to the bar, innit?’
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Picture courtesy: Wikipedia

Picture courtesy: Iloveshoppingwithfede.com

Paris, France 
So many descriptions; the city of romance, the city of famous sights but the city of gastronomical delights seems to be the most appropriate of all. Paris dining is known around the world for its unparalleled quality and taste. It’s a heavenly destination for gourmets and culinary delights; From freshly baked croissants to the cheeses, from celestial wines to the latest dessert fad around the world, the macarons. Yes the macarons are a meringue almond-based, ganache-filled, button-sized French delicacy. It originated in France in the early 20th century. So, safe to say, its very unlikely anyone can bake it like them. You could also try a two-hour macaron making class at La Cuisine, Paris. On right through the months of May, June and July you may not come back a professional. But what could be more satisfying than making macarons in Paris?
A good line to know: ‘Pouvoir j’ai un macaron dans le chocolat, la fraise, la lime, le café, la banane, la framboise, les parfums de myrtille s’il vous plaît’ (May I have a macaron in chocolate, strawberry, lime, coffee, banana, raspberry, blueberry flavours please)

We support pretty things by pretty people

A super-talented (and most importantly super-young) friend fashions beautiful things from what you and I would would only interpret as metal, glass and stones. I bought the two you can see below. Pretty innit? And damn cheap at just Rs. 200. You can check out more of Kirin's funkiness at  http://funkanatomy.com/ 

Metal, turquoise and glass. Three materials in one earring

Cut glass and metal

Note: Photographs courtesy http://funkanatomy.com/

Maya Angelou is undoubtedly one of my favourite poets..and she cemented her place in my heart when I accidentally stumbled upon the following poem..I am one of those people who seeks divine intervention in the form of creativity when I'm upset..Yes I drown my sorrows in a Belgian Chocolate ice cream tub..but I have found reading to be infinitely more satisfying and of course better for my waistline...this poem is dedicated to every girl, who maybe feels insecure for a while...well kiss that insecurity goodbye

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? 'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries. Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard 'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines Diggin' in my own back yard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise.