Please, let there be no Part 4

Poster courtesy: Wikipedia

WE HAVE A foolproof, wisdom-filled, starkly honest tip for the makers of the Men in Black series and also in particular Will Smith (only because on a normal day we quite like him.) Quit while you’re ahead. Actually, you’re no longer ahead, so just quit. Fifteen years ago, the antics of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones playing the suave MIB protecting the planet against a plethora of alien species, one more disgusting than the other, had scope. It had special effects that were indeed special for that time, a decent script and enough slapstick humour to classify it a superhit. But that was a decade-and-ahalf ago, guys! MIB 2 has come and gone a disaster. Wasn’t that hint enough not to make Part 3?

In Men in Black 3, Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back and also go back in time. When K’s life is in danger and moreover even the fate of our planet is at stake, it’s of course Will Smith to the rescue. Yawn so far.

He will have to travel back in time to put things right. One could, I guess, blame the cast (Tommy Lee Jones looks botoxed, Will Smith jaded), the director for the sloppy direction, the producers for sanctioning MIB 3 in the first place. But the real criminal, or alien in this case, is the screenplay that quite simply doesn’t exist.

Rumour has it that the script was reportedly not even finished when filming commenced and therefore involved many screenwriters to complete. Uh, hint enough somebody, anybody?

Icky alien scenes, always the USP of MIB, take on a new shade of disgusting in Part 3. Sample this one: Agents J and K interrogate an alien at a bowling alley, eventually remove his head and use it as a bowling ball. But there’s a mustiness to these incidents, a deja vu‘I’ve seen this before’ moment. And you have, in Parts 1 and 2.

Amongst the new cast members, Josh Brolin as the younger Tommy Lee Jones is commendable. He emulates the older actor’s stony and blank look so well, you almost think he’s actually a younger Jones. Emma Thompson as Chief O is so wasted. In one unbearably painful scene, they make her shriek like an alien bird.

The 3D effect is as irrelevant as it can be. Please, oh please, let there be no Part 4.

Note: This review has also appeared in Financial World and on Tehelka.com