Jab Tak Hai Jaan... or till you fall asleep

ALL OF last week, I had been trying to make a pact with the filmi god (and I do believe there is one) all of last week: ‘let Jab Tak Hai Jaan be a Yash Chopra classic,’ I prayed fervently, ‘let me not have a chance to critique the last film of a filmmaker who’s no more, let me not dislike his love saga when I equate everything romance in real life off his films’. Alas that prayer went unanswered, JTHJ is not what you want it to be, it’s not that epic Yash Chopra story, it’s not a fitting end. That’s painful but that’s the truth.

I am at a loss to figure why JTHJ was made in the first place. Veer Zaara was a good film for Yashji to hang up the director’s hat with. It wasn’t his best once again, but it had those glimpses…of those mustard fields, dialogues that left you misty-eyed or giddy…that feel-good feeling of unbelievable love that lasts forever…when we get foolishly optimistic about the concept of soul-mates.

All this is missing from JTHJ. And in a three-hour-plus film that offers nothing (no humour, no action, not even great songs) but romance, a weak love story was never going to amount to anything. In the first half, its 2002 and Samar Anand (SRK) is a struggling musician/waiter/odds-and-ends worker in London struggling to make ends meet. Katrina is Meera, rich to the hilt, born with one of those diamond-encrusted spoons. Meera’s character is not really delved upon perhaps because there isn’t much worth showcasing. Except for the times when she wants something, then Meera is shown as deeply religious, often asking for wishes in lieu of sacrifices: a good result in return for chocolates, a perfect life partner in return for kicking her smoking habit.

Before you have a chance to say hmm, the two fall in love. But Meera can’t commit to Samar because she has to marry the guy her Dad (Anupam Kher in his most miniscule role ever) has chosen for her. Why you ask? Because Meera’s mom left them when she was 12 and her father has always given her everything. Uhh, ok. So here I’m thinking, right so this is going to be a ‘lets convince the dad saga’. I was wrong. Meera still pursues her romance with Samar and one day finally musters to tell her dad the truth. But Samar has an accident, so Meera makes a deal with God and gives up Samar in exchange for his life.

Fast-forward ten years later, Samar has become Major Samar Anand, part of the Indian army’s bomb disposal squad. His antics are legendary, he defuses bombs without even a bomb suit. If you can forgive the bloopers of SRK keeping a stubble through most of his bomb-defusing jaunts (army officers are not allowed to) and the fact that the number of bombs he defuses in a day makes it seem that we’re in a state of terrible war, this is the decade you’ll enjoy.

And a lot, actually the complete, credit goes to Anushka Sharma. As the spunky 21-year-old aspiring documentary filmmaker, Anushka as Akira is freshness, fun and frank.

Now this love story I could have got.

In terms of acting, Katrina does a Kristen Stewart through most of her parts. Happy or sad, confused or passion-struck…there’s one solitary expression that lasts the entire saga. SRK as a 25-year-old is not young enough. The age is catching up and now so should the roles. But we forgive him for donning those combats, keeping that stubble and wearing those aviators. Oh heart, calm down…

In his filmmaking, Yash Chopra captured pulsating hearts and dreams of lovers transcending generations. Love does transcend a lot in JTHJ too but I fail to understand why. Why does SRK love Katrina? Why does he love her so much? Why is Katrina such a fool? Why does it take her 10 years to understand something that at best required 10 seconds? Why did the hurdles of love seem so easily solvable? Why indeed.

Loving Jab Tak Hai Jaan is fine…but what if one falls asleep before that! Is it a film badly made? No, but it does break your heart for all the wrong reasons.

Note: This review first appeared in the 15 November edition of  FW

Personal Note: I shall now go and curl up in my quilt for actually not liking Yash Chopra's last film...

End of the love saga in Yash Chopra's passing

He captured pulsating hearts and dreams of lovers transcending generations. Romance may never find its Yashraj expression again...

The man who made us fall in love with romance is no more. Roughly three weeks before the release of his last directorial venture, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, filmmaker Yash Chopra succumbed to dengue fever at the Lilavati hospital in Mumbai on Sunday evening. He had been admitted there on 13 October. He was 80.

It would be difficult to summarise Yash Chopra and his filmmaking in just a few words. Do we delve on the innumerable dialogues - some heart-touching, some heart-wrenching - that most of us know by heart? Should we highlight the classic Yash Chopra heroine, in pastel chiffons, sometimes dancing in the mustard field and sometimes twirling on the Swiss Alps. Or should we just marvel at the myriad of topics touched?

Chopra was born on 27 September 1932, the youngest of eight children. He grew up close to his elder brother, filmmaker BR Chopra, and it was with him that Yash Chopra got his first directorial opportunity with the film Dhool Ka Phool in 1959, starring Mala Sinha and Rajendra Kumar.

The story of a Muslim man bringing up an illegitimate Hindu child, the film was a surprise hit. It also set the tone for most of Chopra’s films that followed; high on emotional drama and mostly ahead of their time.
Whether it was the 1965 Waqt, which became one of Indian cinema’s first multi-starrers with an ensemble cast including Sunil Dutt, Raaj Kumar, Shashi Kapoor, Sadhana, Balraj Sahni, Madan Puri, Sharmila Tagore, or the 1991 Lamhe that captured the romance between an older man and a young girl with such sensitivity. Lamhe did not enjoy commercial success in India. But over the years the film has been hailed as a classic. It was featured in Outlook magazine’s list of All-Time Great Indian films.

And then there were the down and out artistes such as Rajesh Khanna and Shah Rukh Khan, who Yash Chopra turned into superstars overnight with blockbusters like Daag and Darr. It was his Deewar (1975) that established Parveen Babi as the liberated Bollywood woman setting the trend for many more such roles for actresses in Hindi cinema. Deewar also cemented the success of writing duo Salim-Javed, who went on to write many more blockbuster films, becoming one of the most memorable writer duo in Hindi cinema. Deewar’s success, it is said, is what made Bollywood sit up and start taking its writers seriously.

Would we have known SRK as supposedly ‘Bollywood’s best lover boy’, had there been no Yash Chopra? Khan earned commercial success with Abbas Mastan’s Baazigar but it was his portrayal of an obsessed lover in Darr (1993) that made him an actor to reckon with.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan would have been Chopra’s last in a career spanning more than 50 years that saw him winning six National Film Awards and 11 Filmfare awards. He is survived by his wife Pamela and sons Aditya and Uday.

Chopra does leave behind a void in film-making. He wielded his director’s baton with such élan that the Yash Chopra style became moniker in itself. Mush was never more mushy and probably never will be again.


Note: This article first appeared in the 22 October edition of FW

Nothing wrong with mindless fun!

I HAVE to confess, I didn’t go in to watch Student of The Year (referred to as SOTY henceforth) with much, make that any, expectations. Can you blame me for not looking forward to a tennybopper film based out of a college that looks like the poshest of the posh hotels, where the female (teen) protagonist carries around varied hues of only the most-expensive handbags on this planet, where the male leads were brandishing their eight-packs and not their 8.0 GPAs.

Yes, SOTY is all this and even more, it is corny and unbelievable to the core. But it is also directed by Karan Johar and by god K Jo can make corny fun. So he gives us a story of love and friendship in the times of college: Shanaya (Alia Bhatt), Rohan (Varun Dhawan) and Abhimanyu (Sidharth Malhotra) are three different individuals looking for different things while standing on that tough road of life called growing-up. Rohan and Abhimanyu come from different walks of life, but after a rocky start become best friends. Shanaya is the most popular girl in school but is still not the happiest. Their intertwined story of highs and lows is of course what makes up the film. And at roughly three hours it’s a long film. But a flow to the story (even though there’s a lack of it) and a brilliant soundtrack ensure that those 180 minutes are quite a breeze.
There was another apprehension I went in with: three brand new actors, three young, a little boring first-impression making actors. Were we going to once again cry when they laugh and laugh when they cry (a la Nargis Fakhri).

But hold on, these guys can act. No really, they actually can. There’s something about Alia Bhatt: she’s not drop-dead gorgeous, she doesn’t have the long legs and the sculpted figure, what she does have in abundance is an endearing quality that’s part-Lolita and part-child.

Now to the most embarassing confession, but one that I’ve been ensured I wasn’t alone at: I could never tell apart the two male leads (Sidharth Malhotra and Varun Dhawan) all this time that the songs and the promos have been all over the place. They were tall and brawny and chiselled; but I couldn’t figure out anything beyond that. But yes they are different and quite so. Sidharth as scholarship student Abhimanyu is fresh-faced and very likeable. He’s also very drool-worthy for those aged between 13-30. But it is Varun Dhawan who really steals the film. Varun is a natural. He was born to filmmaker David Dhawan, and the acting gene shows. It doesn’t seem to be the first film for any of the three, which is a good thing. Because this certainly won’t be the last we see of them.

Johar’s SOTY won’t win film of the year, it won’t impress the sternest of critics or the tutting intellectuals. But come on, can’t we for once enjoy something just in the name of mindless fun?


Note: This review first appeared in the 20 October edition of FW

V for vague

So Vogue sent in a preview of their five covers celebrating five years of us talking in Vogue language! Sigh, I remember the times I used to splurge on Femina, then Cosmopolitan, and oh yes Elle...the 50 rupee price tag used to seem so extravagant :p 

So here are those covers, ranked in an order we liked most, based purely on the look and not the designer tag. 

P.S. Forget the whole 5 actors, 5 covers thing...its slightly tried and tested...but we are severely disappointed at the absence of them in Indian attire...it is five years of 'Indian' Vogue after all!

Priyanka: Best figure hands down. Gorgeous gown check. Gold check. Smoky makeup check.

Deepika: Only her tall, lean frame could have carried off those embossed flowers so non-garishly.

Anushka: We don't loooveeee it...but then you haven't seen the other two! A classic case of pick the lessest (yes we know its not a word) evil.

Katrina: Did someone lose Snow-ick-white?

Sonam: It's the pose, the general discomfort coming across and the feeling of deja vu that makes us yawn at this cover. Just how many blah dee blah designer gowns can one see SK in?



Which one is your favourite? Write in to us, the only condition being that the comments should be funny/fun. Now here's the million-dollar question: Where the oops is Kareena 'heroine' Kapoor? I smell a filmi story here.

Covers credit: Vogue

A film for someone we all know...

Sridevi’s done it, oh yes she has…in a film that rests solely on her shoulders, playing a character that proudly claims her age and with the aid of no dance-numbers. Now how many comebacks can boast of that? None that we remember. In an era where comebacks almost always spell big, bigger, biggest…Sridevi chose a role that has substance over glamour. 

We don’t mean to sound so giddy, but in between fighting back tears, laughter and rolling on the floor…Sridevi took us on a rollercoaster into a world where good films don’t have a formula or 100 crore tags…they just make do with scripts that make sense, a story that needs telling, handled in a manner that could potentially describe the word mature.

Sridevi plays Shashi Godbole…a loveable, doing right by everyone housewife who spends her days making life comfortable for her family and her spare time dishing out gourmet delights. Only all she gets in return is mirth from her husband because just how difficult can making ladoos be and disgust from her daughter who thinks of her mother’s non-english speaking skills as potent embarrassment.

It really hits home because really haven’t we all seen this everyday everywhere…husbands not taking their brimming with wives talent seriously, a cringe here and there when you hear or see English misspelt or god forbid mispronounced. These people are you and these people are me, who’ve made language a meter of judging our ‘coolness’.

Sridev and Dreamboat (Mehdi Nebbou)

A family wedding take Shashi to New York and a humiliating incident in a café later, she joins English-speaking classes. Amongst people from different walks of life and countries, Shashi learns the language and more importantly the confidence to not really care about a thing like language. 

She also learns how to love herself, thanks to French classmate and chef Laurent (with someone who looks like Laurent, we’d be willing to learn Newton’s laws). Director Gauri Shinde has cast Mehdi Nebbou, a French-Algerian actor so right, you want Sridevi to not do the ‘right’ thing in the end…oh well a girl can always dream right?

Full marks have to be awarded to the casting of English Vinglish. Absolutely no one is a sore thumb, even the sole cameo (Amitabh Bachchan) is such an apt fit. The only disappointment, and we really had to scrounge around for this one, is the music. The supremely talented Amit Trivedi delivers some pretty lacklustre fare, that doesn’t really connect in an otherwise emotional story.     

If this is Gauri Shinde’s first film and if this is what she can do with it, oh boy gimme more!   

For the love of God, watch 'Oh My God'

A few days ago, a flummoxed Paresh Rawal rued the inclusion of an item song in his first production. He couldn’t fathom why an otherwise small budget film would need a large chunk spent just on that song. And you know what? He was a 100 percent, resoundingly right. There was nothing wrong with ‘Go Govinda’, but if ruling out that song would have given me five more minutes of Paresh Rawal and Akshay Kumar, by god I would have taken it any day. Having said that, equally true is the fact that the inclusion of the item number lends more mass appeal OMG Oh My God, thus expanding its chances of better box-office returns. It is these returns, which will pave way for more such small but meaningful productions, which are truly god’s gift (no more puns, I promise) in this era of Rs 100-crore tortures.

OMG (we’ll be adopting the abbreviation henceforth) is based on the 2001 Australian comedy The Man Who Sued God and the Gujarati play Kanji Viruddh Kanji. It narrates the story of Kanjilal Mehta, a staunch atheist, who earns his living by selling religious idols. Life is smooth as Kanjilal goes on with his business unabashedly choosing convenience over forced faith, reason over blind belief. But when an earthquake levels his shop to the ground and the insurance company refuses to grant him his claim, citing the quake to be an act of God, Kanjilal goes ahead and sues God.

Such a delicate topic in a god-fearing country like ours needed a treatment equivalent to that meted out to fragile glass. Director Umesh Shukla achieves that, with support from an able cast that understands that.

It’s a Paresh Rawal film through and through, a four-minute item song lasts only that long. And my god, he delivers (Ok, now it was really required). Akshay Kumar as Krishna Vasudeva Yadav aka Lord Krishna in a dapper, tech-savvy, riding a batmobile-like (only its white) avatar is so refreshing. He has also produced the venture along with Rawal. Bless you dear Akshay.

OMG works because it’s teaching without preaching. And it targets everything that’s wrong with religion today, religion not god. 

For too long we’ve lived with the ‘he visits a mandir everyday, he’s a good boy’, ‘she didn’t keep that fast, that’s blasphemy’ thumb rule. 

The film doesn’t question the existence of Jesus, Ram, Allah…it questions the mela that surrounds faith in god around the world, and India, in particular. Never has religion been a bigger multi-crore industry, and yet never have we been a race so dissatisfied.

We floated away from the film feeling closer to the thought of being connected to a power divine, and not stressing about the dos and donts of the almighty.

OMG Oh My God has a lot to say, listen to it with an open heart and mind. After all, isn’t that also a message prescribed especially by God. 

Nothing fame worthy about this 'Heroine'

Madhur Bhandarkar has proved himself as a filmmaker that doesn’t shy away from a matter-of-fact portrayal of life and all its ugliness. But he also last proved that in 2007 (Traffic Signal). Its been downhill since then with films that in its quest of exposing get exposed themselves for their fake storylines, outlandish dialogues, weird caricatures and a lot of overacting.

Heroine was supposed to be Bhandarkar’s take on the big, bad glamorous world of the biggest film industry in the world through the eyes of a female protagonist. A tale of how it really is…the struggles, the triumphs, the workings.

But if you’ve seen Fashion save yourself the trouble, and the money. Shockingly, Heroine is Bhandarkar’s rehash of his own last film, only worse.

This time you land from the modelling world into film star Mahi Arora’s (Kareena Kapoor) world where the designers are still taking funny, the page 3 types are still just dropping honeys and darlings and where scheming women twitch their lips and narrow their eyes in a manner befitting only saas-bahu serials.

 Mahi is a talented, beautiful, successful actor who has everything going for her. There’s just one hitch. Her love life is less than ideal which transforms Mahi into a simpering, painful mess. Such a mess is erratic Mahi that she constantly flies off the hook landing herself from one embarrassing situation to another. Get it? I didn’t.

Mahi then tries to overturn her image, hires superslick PR (Divya Dutta in a saving grace role) and once again treads her way to the top. Another failed love affair, bitter moments, arty film gone wrong, internal politics later she once again loses the plot. Get it? I didn’t again.

Mahi begins again because the love life improves and so renews her initiative for a successful career. A vaguely promised role by boyfriend doen’t materialise and she goes cuckoo. Ok, now I really didn’t get it at all.

Bhandarkar sets no base for Mahi’s madness (except for a broken home and extreme lack of self-confidence) So by the end of it you feel bad for everyone Mahi comes in contact with, including yourself. Sigh.

Insecurity in Heroine is shown as something that only female actors feel, go through, and endure. Forgive me, but I really don’t know when this unisex emotion became restricted to one sex.

Everything that Bhandarkar tries to show bad about the filmi world are topics not really worth touching upon, issues that really exist everywhere. There is competition everywhere Mr Bhandarkar coupled with nasty gossip and extreme bitching, even in our mundane lives. So important topics like why its only the heroine in our industry that has a shelf life, why a 40-something actor can romance a 20-something actress and not the other way round, why a 100-crore project is never launched on just a heroine’s shoulder, why marriage changes the game only for female actors is not even touched upon. Those are the real tribulations of big, bad Bollywood.

Of course Kareena Kapoor will be convincing as an actor (she is one herself), bringing to her larger than life role the right myriad of emotions. She looks spectacular but is mostly reduced to a heap of crying mess. The other actors have limited parts with idiotic dialogues, the only saving grace is Arjun Rampal. As Mahi’s boyfriend, superstar Aryaan Khanna, you genuinely feel bad for him all the time. And it helps that he looks smoking hot.

To pay tribute to Bhandarkar’s bad to worst clichés we’d like to end with a cliche ourselves: Somewhere a green-eyed beauty enjoying the bliss of motherhood must be heaving a sigh of relief, thanking god she wasn’t the heroine of Heroine.

Note: A copy of this review appeared in the 22 September edition of The Financial World

A movie so bad, the joke's on you!

From the whirring of the machine that churns out tickets, to the popping sound and wafting buttery fragrance of the popcorn maker, to the dimming of the lights once you’re seated, and the build-up of seeing some new trailers…there’s nothing about experiencing cinema that doesn’t delight and excite! So it was surprising to go in to watch Joker dragging our feet, armed only with the best wishes from friends and dear ones. You see, we’ve all seen Tees Maar Khan. Enough said.

Could the writer of that film and the director of this film, Shirish Kunder, have improved on that torturous script masquerading as a film? In a way he does. So we’re out of the torture but we’re in for the ridiculous.

Everything: the acting, the story, the special effects, the costumes, the humour…it’s like one big catastrophe of that which should never have existed. (Maybe if we keep taking its name, more such films will come our way, aka the Voldemort theory)

In 1947, when borders were being drawn, one little village Paglapur (named so for it onced housed a mental asylum) lay forgotten and became a no-man’s land decades later. Akshay Kumar, a resident of Paglapur, escapes his village stagnating for want of water and electricity and migrates to America, to become a successful scientist and start chasing aliens. Forced to come home one day, he hatches a plan to put Paglapur firmly onto the map of interest. So they carve crop circles and the villagers dress up as aliens with the aid of capsicums and karelas, while the whole world (including the FBI, the CIA, US president) shows up there thus putting Paglapur into the spotlight.

How Kunder convinced an entire star cast that includes sane people like Akshay Kumar, Sonakshi Sinha, Shreyas Talpade, Vinddo Dara Singh to act in such a film is nothing short of amazing. Now that’s something that a movie should be made on.

Akshay Kumar has been a notably missing from the promotion of this film, that incidentally has been produced by his own banner Hari Om International. And while Kunder and Farah Khan may cry themselves hoarse denying that anything is amiss, we don’t really blame Akki. It could not have been easy being part of potentially the worst film of 2012. The joke’s on the Joker.

Note: Image courtesy Wikipedia. This review first appeared in the 1 September edition of FW

Ek tha hoax!

It wasn't easy getting a first day first show ticket for Ek Tha Tiger. Welcome to the Salman Khan phenomenon where his every look, every uttered word, every punch delivered has a legion of fans going gaga in most parts of the world. Did you just hear a whistle? Don't fret, there's probably a Salman Khan song going on somewhere.  

What adulation, what obsession!

Opening shot: narrow streets of Iraq...barren, desert landscape...shadows everywhere...out of the shadows emerges a familiar silhouette. The hero is here. A tad swollen, a little out of shape, there are bags under those deadpan eyes now, there's a sign that age is here. Salman Khan as Indian RAW agent christened Tiger will be adored by his die-hard fans. But for those of us who look at everything with a discerning eye, there could have been a few other actors who would have fit the bill better.

There we've made our confessions, you may kill us now.

And yet the problems (notice the plurality) with Ek tha Tiger is not Salman Khan. He is the saving grace infact alongwith the sighs-evoking Katrina Kaif.

No the shocker is the story, or the lack of it. Coming from Yashraj productions - they who made us fantasise about running in mustard fields to our soulmate, with our dupattas and our hair somehow trailing artistically behind us - the last thing we expected was a cutting edge, adrenaline stirring thriller. This one is an out and out love story with action scenes thrown in probably to justify Salman Khan and the weak script revolving around taking big names like RAW and ISI. As if thats all it takes to make a decent spy flick!

And there's nothing wrong with romance, umm except for when there hardly is any. Salman and Katrina, for personal reasons or due to sheer bad chemistry, skirt around each other squeamishly making it more of a yawn fest than soul stirring.

RAW agent Tiger is the best of the lot (for reasons not really explained), but he's a loner. On an assignment to Ireland he encounters Zoya (Katrina Kaif). Tiger falls hard for the charms of the gorgeous Zoya before realising that she's actually the enemy, an ISI agent sent there to jeopardise his mission (not very intelligent of him to have not realised it earlier, but anyway). 

Now Tiger will have to choose between his country and his love. He makes the obvious choice of course but we still felt bad. And this is when you know its an average romantic fare, if you would much rather see Tiger the fighter and not Tiger the lover. 

If Katrina Kaif looked gorgeous before, her current looks would give the old her a complex. Even her acting is devoid of those uncomfortable patches she would encounter in a role now and then. She's buffed up to look like a trained agent, the homework is all there.

Now if only director Kabir Khan had given us a smart script taut enough to be believable. If only the plot, the slickness befitting spies didn't fall in the bracket of those secret seven/famous five children mystery novels. Maybe then we wouldn't have been tsk tsking about ek tha hoax!

All images courtesy: www.ekthatiger.com

This review originally appeared in the 17 August edition of Financial World

Nothing wrong but nothing new!

LET’S GET one thing clear: your kids will love Ice Age: Continental Drift. They will laugh and so will you. It will be a perfect weekend-y thing to do. The words that follow in no way attempt to take away from that fact.

But one also can’t ignore that the latest Ice Age is perfectly mediocre. How else can we explain the feeling of ‘fun while it lasted but can’t much remember it now’?

 To give Ice Age: Continental Drift credit, it is the fourth in the long-running    series. So the predictable storyline is a given. You know the much-loved trio of Manny the wooly mammoth (Ray Romano), Diego the saber-tooth tiger (Denis Leary) and Sid the sloth (John Leguizamo) are going to find themselves in trouble. You know the trouble will in some way be caused by Scrat the squirrel and his four-film old endless pursuit of that acorn. And you know by the end of it they will all enjoy a happily-ever-after and the acorn will still be drifting/flying/falling off somewhere.









The newer elements to the story are brought in the form of the troubled father-daughter relationship of Manny and Peaches (voiced by Keke Palmer) and her teenage angsts.
But in 1 hour and 28mins, there really is no time to delve into it, so its reduced to more of a 5-minute problem. And on some level, you know the storyline is too mediocre to delve into anymore anyway.

There are new characters of course, the most notable being Diego’s love interest Shira (voiced by Jennifer Lopez) mostly because she’s been voiced by Lopez. But you know what, even if it was not Lopez it would have been fine (given Shira’s miniscule role and Lopez’s high asking price). We preferred the hyraxes; yes they were mum but they were also cute in a very aww-inspiring, snuggly way. This is the first instalment not directed by Carlos Saldanha (he of all the previous three parts) and maybe that’s why this one’s not a classic. Or maybe all good things do have to end some day, so this needs to be the one with which we should bid farewell to the lovable antics of our Ice Age characters. It has been a decade you know

Note: View this review also on http://tehelka.com/story_main53.asp?filename=Fw280712Neither.asp

Welcome to Mediterranean paradise!

Fruity Sangria

We’re a fan of delicious food, lots of it. But you know that feeling when you’ve overeaten, said no to nothing and can imagine your waistline sitting in one corner sulking. We’re not a fan of that sneaky emotion called guilt.Delicious food should ideally be guilt-free and that’s exactly what Olive Beach’s new summer menu does so lavishly.

Olive Beach (Verandah area)

Devised by Chef Saby, a Spaniard herself, she was clear that a lot more than fried and buttered delights were needed to tackle the hot and humid Delhi summers. “We’ve designed tapas - Spanish for light snacks - basically to eliminate fried food and replace it with light oils, wood ovens, char-grilled lean meats and non fatty fish.” 

The tasting kicks off with, Gazpacho foam (Rs 349), simply translated cold tomato based vegetable soup. Now traditionally we’re not a fan of cold soups having been brought up with the eat your ice-cream cold, drink your soup comfortingly hot adage.

So when a deliciously cool soup served with a baguette crustini garnished with extra virgin olive oil and olive dust showed up, it was all we could do to refrain from requesting a doggy flask.

Gazpacho foam

Sizzling Gambas

Next up were the sizzling gambas(Rs 599): Tiger prawns cooked with cherry tomato, and roasted garlic in a healthy splash of white wine reminds you why four ingredients can make a cracker of a dish (Or maybe we’ve been watching too much of Masterchef).

Then came the Croquetas. Now these are available in three options of Vegetable, Chicken or Fish. Croquetas is bread soaked in milk, which is then filled with cheese, vegetables and your choice of protein, served fried. “Ah, so the lure of oil you couldn’t resist”, we asked. So Chef Saby asked us to just try one. Here’s the (may enter expletive here) thing, you just can’t! We blame the garlic infused mayonnaise served with it, but the truth is unlike the fried nuggets/bread rolls we’re so used to loving, there’s a deception about croquetas,probably in its lightness that makes you feel you’re wolfing down nothing!

In Appetisers, Mezze platter non vegetarian (Rs 899) with its Tahini prawn, chicken kebab, Moroccan lamb kebab accompanied by three dips, Lebanese pickle, and fattoush is served up on a rustic wooden board. The mix n match follows a simple logic: diffuse the heat of the meat with the coolness of the dips.

Mango Semi Freddo

Amongst the desserts, we tried the Mango Semi Freddo(Rs 399), a brulee Mango brunoise with a green mango sorbet. But it didn’t tickle. It could be because the rest set the standards too high or that general feeling of being overstuffed. Oh but wait, a chocolate we enjoyed a few hours later still seemed delicious. So maybe skipping this dessert is a good idea.

Note: A copy of this review has also appeared in the Financial World. The reviewer dined at Olive Beach, Hotel Diplomat, Sardar Patel Road, Chanakyapuri, Delhi- 110 021

For the love of dimsums...!

I’ve often passed by Hao Shi Nian Nian - located in the bylanes of the Greater Kailash Part 2 M-Block market - and it’s always intimidated me with its imposing structure of 3 floors, with a name that unlike most of the restaurants offering Oriental fare, was not China something or the other.

I’m pleased to announce my intimidation is well and truly a thing of the past.

It was a smart move by Hao Shi Nian Nian to pay extra attention to dimsums or dumplings like some of us like to call it, as Chef Nawal Prakash (Vice-president, Under one roof hotel consultants) comments on the regular Indian-Chinese eater, “First, we like our Chinese to be distinctly Punjabi in its flavours , Second we love our dimsums”

So how does the eatery compare, especially with a fare (dimsums) that are honestly available at every nook and corner, from hole in the wall food joints to exotic designer restaurants?

It is undoubtedly a classy version of the regular-joe dimsums that Hao Shi Nian Nian serves up.

As soon as we made ourselves rather comfortable with a potent Watermelon Margarita and Cranberry Sangria (a good choice of refreshing accompaniments with what was to follow we were told), out marched an army of waiting staff armed with piping hot dimsums.

There were the Cantonese style open dimsums - available with a choice of Prawn, Chicken and Vegetable as a filling – and we were already smacking our lips.

The Kothey which are steamed dumplings slightly pan fried till the beginnings of crispness comes on is better enjoyed dipped into one of the three colourful sauces;

The Lamb pancake dumpling was a disappointment, not really making an impact with its flavour, almost bordering on no flavour actually.

All photos courtesy Hao Shi Nian Nian except the one above

But the one that emitted the almost obscene sounding oohs and aahs from us, was the Pork Bao; Bao is essentially a pillowy soft bun that is steamed. With a distinctly sweet and sour flavour to the Pork filling and the lightness of the bread, this one is a standout winner!

What Chef Nawal has also done well are the vegetarian dimsums; in not just offering a competitive variety but also making sure that steamed vegetarian dimsums does not necessarily equal boring. Try the steamed treasure vegetable dumpling with a filling of mixed vegetables and button mushrooms.


Yes, we left the restaurant stuffed to our very core. Alas, such sacrifices must be made, for the eternal love of dimsums!


Where else could one go searching for delectable dimsums. Do tell us.

A copy of this review has also appeared in Financial World

All good things don't always come in threes

Photos courtesy: rottentomatoes.com 

The funny foursome is back. In Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted,

Alex the lion, Marty the zebra, Gloria the hippo and Melman the giraffe are still trying to get back home to New York, having lost their way in Part 1 of the much-loved sequel. And they’re still getting into a lot of trouble all the way from Madagascar to New York enroute Monaco, Rome and London.

This time they must join a circus and reinvent it Madagascar-style, all to get to the Big Apple and also more importantly escape the clutches of French animal inspector Capitaine Chantel DuBois (Frances McDormand) who must have Alex in her prized collection.

A circus in the storyline obviously means more characters join the pack, who are fun but not really memorable.

 There’s tiger Vitaly (Bryan Cranston) who’s hurt, low on confidence and sports a mean Russian accent. He was once the circus' main attraction but an accident ruins his star-act. 

There’s jaguar Gia (Jessica Chastain) who’s sole purpose for being brought in may just to provide Alex with a love interest, but she’s nowhere near as spunky as him.

 By far the most lovable is Stefano the sea lion and an Italian one at that (Martin Short) and the love story that actually works is the one between the slobbering Sonya the bear and Julien (Sacha Baron Cohen).

The character of Chantel is one that we predict you’ll enjoy the most – she hunts with her nose and in the middle finds time to touch-up her blood red lipstick. The 3D effects, and there’s ample of it, adds that extra bit of fun to the film which will work well if the giggling kids in the cinema were anything to go by.

All in all a fun film, but one that pales in comparison to the laughter of Part 1 and the sheer genius of Part 2.

Note: This article has also appeared in the 9 June edition of Financial World

Ridley Scott's glitzy but ditzy sci-fi

Prometheus hasn’t exactly got the most prolific release in India. But one may still feel the urge to not miss this one. 

Reason number one: It’s a Ridley Scott film. 

Reason number two: it’s a sci-fi Ridley Scott film. The excitement was palpable and with good reason. Scott gave us the chills with 1979’s breakthrough sci-fi film Alien and then perfected that genre with Blade Runner (1982.) He returns 30 years later with Prometheus and no he hasn’t lost his touch.

Dazzling design, technical mastery and the specialist of special effects work very well together in Prometheus and almost cover up a very basic flaw, that of a weak storyline. If only there was a smashing story.

Alas, there isn’t.

Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) are two archaeologists at the heart of a life-changing startling discovery (that’s how it’s projected but hardly how it seems). In 2089, they’ve found a 35,000-year-old cave painting that shows humans worshiping an enormous figure who’s pointing to the stars. What’s more, similar paintings spanning various civilizations over several centuries have been found (slightly unlikely).The scientists believe that these paintings point to the origins of life and where we came from. Lo and behold, a rich benefactor to spend trillions of dollars is found and off they fly in a spaceship (named Prometheus) to find the reason for our existence.

There is a scene in the film when other members of the motley crew onboard is explained their mission. They seem a trifle unconvinced – we felt the same.

As the mission progresses and the crew find this planet in some corner of the Universe, please note they seem to find it easily enough, things start going wrong and the body count starts increasing, starting from the least important actor to the most important one.

What kills them and how grisly are the ET’s this time is what you can hope to discover should you choose to watch Prometheus. Amongst the other actors Michael Fassbender as Prometheus’ very own android is chillingly perfect and Charlize Theron as the spaceship’s captain is chillingly wasted.

Photos courtesy: Prometheus' official websit

I mean, we’re talking about something as monumental as the origins of life, so a little emotion please.

Note: This article has also appeared in the 9 June edition of Financial World