Okay,here's a fact..I'm one of those that they call an optimist..some have been stark enough to cast me away as a dreamer..those who love me call me a 'starry-eyed dreamer'.One of my closest friends once told me,that my life will be difficult.When I asked him why,he said this 'You have a habit of living parallel lives.One in your heart,and one outside.And more often than not its what your heart says,is what you believe..and ignore completely the reality.' My reaction was to be rendered speechless.Till date he doesn't know its because he hit so close to the truth.

My nature established,I have always believed that there is no right or wrong.One should be just the way that makes them happy.After all isn't that what every self-respecting psychiatrist worth his salt and every self-help book preaches...they rant and rave about pots and pans,but they always come back to the revered 'be yourself' at the end.

So I stay the way I am and very happily so..But even in my picture perfect,eternally positive world I stumble over just one thing again and again..
I have never been able to fathom why a perfectly sane,well educated,normal person can fall in love with those who are incapable of loving them back..and completely ignore those who want to love them without asking for it back.
Let's be fair,by 'them' I mean me and I sincerely hope lots of others too(as they say misery loves company)

My mother once told me a long,long time ago..(this is when the most exciting thing in my life was my next visit to Appu Ghar,which is not to say that I have gotten over my fascination for amusement parks..I absolutely adore them and there is a good reason why,but thats for later)
So not to digress away,my mother once told me in what can only be her apt substitute for the 'birds and bees' talk,'that when I am on my quest for love,I should always settle for the one who loves me more,rather than the other way round.'
Over the years as I was growing up I did dwell on her pearls of wisdom,but discarded them convinced that love is a very non-selfish thing..that its better to give and then give some more.

That was the romantic in me..but over the years that perception has transformed and become quite a bit jaded and a little more real.
Maybe I was wrong,maybe love is selfish,coz it definitley hurts when it isn't reciprocated in the manner that I consider just.

So just for today I would like the permission to hang my head in shame and run away from the world..because maybe just maybe my foundations were wrong,and that Friend of mine starkly right.

But somewhere I know this this quirk of mine is here to stay..and so I need the answer to this puzzle.Nature intended for all of us to be happy people(hence all that jazz about lesser muscles in use for a smile,and more for a frown),so why do we go planting ourselves on the path of self-destruction over and over again.
An explanation,any explanation,a clue,any clue..even unsolved theorems at this stage would be appreciated.

Note: Here's my theory- I believe its a conspiracy,a plan on a worldwide scale hatched by all the psychiatrists,self-help book authors,healers,Yogis,swamis and lots more,you get the hint.It is a very strong possibility.Did you know that as of this date the self-help industry has a turnover of 8.5 billion dollars a year.Something to think about :)