Ten reasons why I loved being stuck in the rain

.... for three hours no less

1.Because I was so bored that I called everyone I had ever known.Friends I hadn't been in touch with,people I'd lost my way with.At one point I actually scrolled down my phonebook to remember.And also 'How gorgeous is this weather' is a no-complications conversation starter

2.Because after 24 years,and three hours of being stuck on a jam packed,flooded road..I have finally figured out my favourite rain song.It's 'Tip Tip Barsa' from Mohra.Its spunky,hot,vibrant and ghaati at the same time.Everything I love...

3.Because I finally got to try what I'd often heard of but never tried entity called 'me time'..Retrospecting on me,my life,my choices...and then some more of me,my life to come and choices I have to make.. Something I've been wanting to do for a while now.And it lasted all of 5 minutes :)

4.Because its a sin not to dance in the rain.So with a conked off music system and rain playing beautiful music I had no choice but to prance around on the flyover.People stare,of course they do,but tell me when do they not.Might as well give them something to stare at (not a good idea if you're wearing white though)

5.Because If there was ever a time that god deemed that everyone is equal,that time was now.It was made clear on the nehru place flyover where I remained stationery for an hour.It didn't matter if you're the proud owner of a lambourghini or a hardly there Zen(moi)...they got stuck,we got stuck and a sticky time was had by all

6.Because I became a mini tiny celebrity.Working in tv I have always asked the questions,been the interviewer..but this time I was the interviewee..and was giving my oh so valuable inputs,well I think so (so what if it was a traffic report)

7.Because its only at these times that I enjoy cars splashing water on me.You see they really had no other option.And me,well maybe I shouldn't have been standing on that road.

8.Because staying hungry for three hours you dream and die for hot food,good food,any food..and even that anything at the end of it tastes divine

9.Because earlier in the evening I was called 'melodramatic'.Didn't like it much but while listening to the gorgeous sound of the rain pittering pattering down, I realised its hindi translation is 'dramebaaz'.Now that I think about it..if an entertainment correspondent won't eat,live and breathe drama..then baby who ever will????

10.Because I got a chance to write this....Ten reasons why I loved being stuck in the rain

Till death parts us...or for that matter life

This post is dedicated to the man I hardly knew...but who passed away leaving behind lessons that I learnt from..steps that I took..and decisions that I finally made

Three days ago I got a call from a friend..let's call her 'R'..she called to let me know that a common family friend's 26 year old son had lost his life in an unfortunate accident...And just like that a young,talented,so full of life person....was gone.Let him be known as 'A'.

His face since then has loomed in front of my eyes.Did I know him well..no actually I didn't.Was he even a friend..no just an acquaintance.I don't think I knew much of him beyond his name.But he was young,he was talented,he was dynamic,he was going to do something and become someone..but most importantly..he was his mother's unwavering support with Aunty having lost Uncle in another accident a decade ago..

How can it be fair..for one family..one person to bear so much.I cry at night with the thought...that even if she yearns to believe,why should she.Even if there ever comes a time when she will dare to put her faith again,where will she?

Looking at them I for a while lost my faith..in this universe and the way it works..in this life and how fragile it is..

I had lost respect for who we are...the first thing I did post hearing this news was thank god that my loved ones were safe..Is that a selfish thing to do..maybe yes...but you can glorify it,confuse it or just riddle it with complexities..but the truth remains the truth.

Most importantly 'A' has taught me that my problems are trivial...how can I find reason to complain..when I atleast have my nearest ones to complain to.

Life for long I felt was not worth writing home about..but I'm writing today because my perspective has changed..my priorities have evolved...Yes,I am in love all over again but I am in love with life this time.

Thank you 'A' for letting me realise that chapters start only to end...but that doesn't mean there won't be many more..I have wonderful memories abound..at first i clung onto them with all my might..but now I'm not afraid to make some more.

I have one life..and for as long as that is..I am going to live it.

So long 'A'...rest in peace

Starry-starry dreams

This is dedicated to all the men I had in my life...An ode to you simply because you once existed

They say to write well you need to write what you know..well this is what I know.

I'm only 24 years old (Yes,I take the liberty of saying 'only'),yet I've seen more than I should,more than my mind can comprehend,more than I could possibly take.

Infidelity,Physical Abuse,Mental Trauma were fancy important sounding words that I always heard..was warned against..even pondered upon..but never thought I would encounter.

I don't want to glorify my life,I don't want to compose songs on the unfairness of it all,come to think of it maybe just maybe I'll write a book on it someday...but all I want to do right now is just pack my bags,forget everything that I know and go back to the time when the solution to any problem was holding my Mom's hand,when it was ok to bawl my eyes out and I could be cheered up with something as simple as the batter of some gooey chocolate cake,when feeling insecure was not considered a weakness but rather a reason to be hugged and held tight.

Yes,I grew up believing in Happily ever-afters,so what wrong did I do.All I want is to give my all,all I crave is for somebody to want that all.

With each of you,too many times I've let my life come to a standstill.

But now I feel that a chapter is ending,now I can see a new day dawning,I did love you maybe because my love for you was pure.I did miss you maybe because I belonged to you with my heart,but I can't be beaten,broken and defeated anymore.

For I don't want to fall but rise in your love...

I've been heartbroken,rejected,dumped and even duped..but every morning I wake up wanting to be who I am even more..

Yes you caused me unbelievable pain and for a while I lost my reign,yes you tore me into pieces and maybe for a bit I was never the same, still this heart yearns to hope and has started to heal again,in some ways I'm broken but that was only an impetus to be brand new again.

I still hope,I still crave,I still yearn without any discerning breaks..and yes I still dream my starry-starry dreams