Ek tha hoax!

It wasn't easy getting a first day first show ticket for Ek Tha Tiger. Welcome to the Salman Khan phenomenon where his every look, every uttered word, every punch delivered has a legion of fans going gaga in most parts of the world. Did you just hear a whistle? Don't fret, there's probably a Salman Khan song going on somewhere.  

What adulation, what obsession!

Opening shot: narrow streets of Iraq...barren, desert landscape...shadows everywhere...out of the shadows emerges a familiar silhouette. The hero is here. A tad swollen, a little out of shape, there are bags under those deadpan eyes now, there's a sign that age is here. Salman Khan as Indian RAW agent christened Tiger will be adored by his die-hard fans. But for those of us who look at everything with a discerning eye, there could have been a few other actors who would have fit the bill better.

There we've made our confessions, you may kill us now.

And yet the problems (notice the plurality) with Ek tha Tiger is not Salman Khan. He is the saving grace infact alongwith the sighs-evoking Katrina Kaif.

No the shocker is the story, or the lack of it. Coming from Yashraj productions - they who made us fantasise about running in mustard fields to our soulmate, with our dupattas and our hair somehow trailing artistically behind us - the last thing we expected was a cutting edge, adrenaline stirring thriller. This one is an out and out love story with action scenes thrown in probably to justify Salman Khan and the weak script revolving around taking big names like RAW and ISI. As if thats all it takes to make a decent spy flick!

And there's nothing wrong with romance, umm except for when there hardly is any. Salman and Katrina, for personal reasons or due to sheer bad chemistry, skirt around each other squeamishly making it more of a yawn fest than soul stirring.

RAW agent Tiger is the best of the lot (for reasons not really explained), but he's a loner. On an assignment to Ireland he encounters Zoya (Katrina Kaif). Tiger falls hard for the charms of the gorgeous Zoya before realising that she's actually the enemy, an ISI agent sent there to jeopardise his mission (not very intelligent of him to have not realised it earlier, but anyway). 

Now Tiger will have to choose between his country and his love. He makes the obvious choice of course but we still felt bad. And this is when you know its an average romantic fare, if you would much rather see Tiger the fighter and not Tiger the lover. 

If Katrina Kaif looked gorgeous before, her current looks would give the old her a complex. Even her acting is devoid of those uncomfortable patches she would encounter in a role now and then. She's buffed up to look like a trained agent, the homework is all there.

Now if only director Kabir Khan had given us a smart script taut enough to be believable. If only the plot, the slickness befitting spies didn't fall in the bracket of those secret seven/famous five children mystery novels. Maybe then we wouldn't have been tsk tsking about ek tha hoax!

All images courtesy: www.ekthatiger.com

This review originally appeared in the 17 August edition of Financial World

Nothing wrong but nothing new!

LET’S GET one thing clear: your kids will love Ice Age: Continental Drift. They will laugh and so will you. It will be a perfect weekend-y thing to do. The words that follow in no way attempt to take away from that fact.

But one also can’t ignore that the latest Ice Age is perfectly mediocre. How else can we explain the feeling of ‘fun while it lasted but can’t much remember it now’?

 To give Ice Age: Continental Drift credit, it is the fourth in the long-running    series. So the predictable storyline is a given. You know the much-loved trio of Manny the wooly mammoth (Ray Romano), Diego the saber-tooth tiger (Denis Leary) and Sid the sloth (John Leguizamo) are going to find themselves in trouble. You know the trouble will in some way be caused by Scrat the squirrel and his four-film old endless pursuit of that acorn. And you know by the end of it they will all enjoy a happily-ever-after and the acorn will still be drifting/flying/falling off somewhere.









The newer elements to the story are brought in the form of the troubled father-daughter relationship of Manny and Peaches (voiced by Keke Palmer) and her teenage angsts.
But in 1 hour and 28mins, there really is no time to delve into it, so its reduced to more of a 5-minute problem. And on some level, you know the storyline is too mediocre to delve into anymore anyway.

There are new characters of course, the most notable being Diego’s love interest Shira (voiced by Jennifer Lopez) mostly because she’s been voiced by Lopez. But you know what, even if it was not Lopez it would have been fine (given Shira’s miniscule role and Lopez’s high asking price). We preferred the hyraxes; yes they were mum but they were also cute in a very aww-inspiring, snuggly way. This is the first instalment not directed by Carlos Saldanha (he of all the previous three parts) and maybe that’s why this one’s not a classic. Or maybe all good things do have to end some day, so this needs to be the one with which we should bid farewell to the lovable antics of our Ice Age characters. It has been a decade you know

Note: View this review also on http://tehelka.com/story_main53.asp?filename=Fw280712Neither.asp

Welcome to Mediterranean paradise!

Fruity Sangria

We’re a fan of delicious food, lots of it. But you know that feeling when you’ve overeaten, said no to nothing and can imagine your waistline sitting in one corner sulking. We’re not a fan of that sneaky emotion called guilt.Delicious food should ideally be guilt-free and that’s exactly what Olive Beach’s new summer menu does so lavishly.

Olive Beach (Verandah area)

Devised by Chef Saby, a Spaniard herself, she was clear that a lot more than fried and buttered delights were needed to tackle the hot and humid Delhi summers. “We’ve designed tapas - Spanish for light snacks - basically to eliminate fried food and replace it with light oils, wood ovens, char-grilled lean meats and non fatty fish.” 

The tasting kicks off with, Gazpacho foam (Rs 349), simply translated cold tomato based vegetable soup. Now traditionally we’re not a fan of cold soups having been brought up with the eat your ice-cream cold, drink your soup comfortingly hot adage.

So when a deliciously cool soup served with a baguette crustini garnished with extra virgin olive oil and olive dust showed up, it was all we could do to refrain from requesting a doggy flask.

Gazpacho foam

Sizzling Gambas

Next up were the sizzling gambas(Rs 599): Tiger prawns cooked with cherry tomato, and roasted garlic in a healthy splash of white wine reminds you why four ingredients can make a cracker of a dish (Or maybe we’ve been watching too much of Masterchef).

Then came the Croquetas. Now these are available in three options of Vegetable, Chicken or Fish. Croquetas is bread soaked in milk, which is then filled with cheese, vegetables and your choice of protein, served fried. “Ah, so the lure of oil you couldn’t resist”, we asked. So Chef Saby asked us to just try one. Here’s the (may enter expletive here) thing, you just can’t! We blame the garlic infused mayonnaise served with it, but the truth is unlike the fried nuggets/bread rolls we’re so used to loving, there’s a deception about croquetas,probably in its lightness that makes you feel you’re wolfing down nothing!

In Appetisers, Mezze platter non vegetarian (Rs 899) with its Tahini prawn, chicken kebab, Moroccan lamb kebab accompanied by three dips, Lebanese pickle, and fattoush is served up on a rustic wooden board. The mix n match follows a simple logic: diffuse the heat of the meat with the coolness of the dips.

Mango Semi Freddo

Amongst the desserts, we tried the Mango Semi Freddo(Rs 399), a brulee Mango brunoise with a green mango sorbet. But it didn’t tickle. It could be because the rest set the standards too high or that general feeling of being overstuffed. Oh but wait, a chocolate we enjoyed a few hours later still seemed delicious. So maybe skipping this dessert is a good idea.

Note: A copy of this review has also appeared in the Financial World. The reviewer dined at Olive Beach, Hotel Diplomat, Sardar Patel Road, Chanakyapuri, Delhi- 110 021

For the love of dimsums...!

I’ve often passed by Hao Shi Nian Nian - located in the bylanes of the Greater Kailash Part 2 M-Block market - and it’s always intimidated me with its imposing structure of 3 floors, with a name that unlike most of the restaurants offering Oriental fare, was not China something or the other.

I’m pleased to announce my intimidation is well and truly a thing of the past.

It was a smart move by Hao Shi Nian Nian to pay extra attention to dimsums or dumplings like some of us like to call it, as Chef Nawal Prakash (Vice-president, Under one roof hotel consultants) comments on the regular Indian-Chinese eater, “First, we like our Chinese to be distinctly Punjabi in its flavours , Second we love our dimsums”

So how does the eatery compare, especially with a fare (dimsums) that are honestly available at every nook and corner, from hole in the wall food joints to exotic designer restaurants?

It is undoubtedly a classy version of the regular-joe dimsums that Hao Shi Nian Nian serves up.

As soon as we made ourselves rather comfortable with a potent Watermelon Margarita and Cranberry Sangria (a good choice of refreshing accompaniments with what was to follow we were told), out marched an army of waiting staff armed with piping hot dimsums.

There were the Cantonese style open dimsums - available with a choice of Prawn, Chicken and Vegetable as a filling – and we were already smacking our lips.

The Kothey which are steamed dumplings slightly pan fried till the beginnings of crispness comes on is better enjoyed dipped into one of the three colourful sauces;

The Lamb pancake dumpling was a disappointment, not really making an impact with its flavour, almost bordering on no flavour actually.

All photos courtesy Hao Shi Nian Nian except the one above

But the one that emitted the almost obscene sounding oohs and aahs from us, was the Pork Bao; Bao is essentially a pillowy soft bun that is steamed. With a distinctly sweet and sour flavour to the Pork filling and the lightness of the bread, this one is a standout winner!

What Chef Nawal has also done well are the vegetarian dimsums; in not just offering a competitive variety but also making sure that steamed vegetarian dimsums does not necessarily equal boring. Try the steamed treasure vegetable dumpling with a filling of mixed vegetables and button mushrooms.


Yes, we left the restaurant stuffed to our very core. Alas, such sacrifices must be made, for the eternal love of dimsums!


Where else could one go searching for delectable dimsums. Do tell us.

A copy of this review has also appeared in Financial World

All good things don't always come in threes

Photos courtesy: rottentomatoes.com 

The funny foursome is back. In Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted,

Alex the lion, Marty the zebra, Gloria the hippo and Melman the giraffe are still trying to get back home to New York, having lost their way in Part 1 of the much-loved sequel. And they’re still getting into a lot of trouble all the way from Madagascar to New York enroute Monaco, Rome and London.

This time they must join a circus and reinvent it Madagascar-style, all to get to the Big Apple and also more importantly escape the clutches of French animal inspector Capitaine Chantel DuBois (Frances McDormand) who must have Alex in her prized collection.

A circus in the storyline obviously means more characters join the pack, who are fun but not really memorable.

 There’s tiger Vitaly (Bryan Cranston) who’s hurt, low on confidence and sports a mean Russian accent. He was once the circus' main attraction but an accident ruins his star-act. 

There’s jaguar Gia (Jessica Chastain) who’s sole purpose for being brought in may just to provide Alex with a love interest, but she’s nowhere near as spunky as him.

 By far the most lovable is Stefano the sea lion and an Italian one at that (Martin Short) and the love story that actually works is the one between the slobbering Sonya the bear and Julien (Sacha Baron Cohen).

The character of Chantel is one that we predict you’ll enjoy the most – she hunts with her nose and in the middle finds time to touch-up her blood red lipstick. The 3D effects, and there’s ample of it, adds that extra bit of fun to the film which will work well if the giggling kids in the cinema were anything to go by.

All in all a fun film, but one that pales in comparison to the laughter of Part 1 and the sheer genius of Part 2.

Note: This article has also appeared in the 9 June edition of Financial World

Ridley Scott's glitzy but ditzy sci-fi

Prometheus hasn’t exactly got the most prolific release in India. But one may still feel the urge to not miss this one. 

Reason number one: It’s a Ridley Scott film. 

Reason number two: it’s a sci-fi Ridley Scott film. The excitement was palpable and with good reason. Scott gave us the chills with 1979’s breakthrough sci-fi film Alien and then perfected that genre with Blade Runner (1982.) He returns 30 years later with Prometheus and no he hasn’t lost his touch.

Dazzling design, technical mastery and the specialist of special effects work very well together in Prometheus and almost cover up a very basic flaw, that of a weak storyline. If only there was a smashing story.

Alas, there isn’t.

Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) are two archaeologists at the heart of a life-changing startling discovery (that’s how it’s projected but hardly how it seems). In 2089, they’ve found a 35,000-year-old cave painting that shows humans worshiping an enormous figure who’s pointing to the stars. What’s more, similar paintings spanning various civilizations over several centuries have been found (slightly unlikely).The scientists believe that these paintings point to the origins of life and where we came from. Lo and behold, a rich benefactor to spend trillions of dollars is found and off they fly in a spaceship (named Prometheus) to find the reason for our existence.

There is a scene in the film when other members of the motley crew onboard is explained their mission. They seem a trifle unconvinced – we felt the same.

As the mission progresses and the crew find this planet in some corner of the Universe, please note they seem to find it easily enough, things start going wrong and the body count starts increasing, starting from the least important actor to the most important one.

What kills them and how grisly are the ET’s this time is what you can hope to discover should you choose to watch Prometheus. Amongst the other actors Michael Fassbender as Prometheus’ very own android is chillingly perfect and Charlize Theron as the spaceship’s captain is chillingly wasted.

Photos courtesy: Prometheus' official websit

I mean, we’re talking about something as monumental as the origins of life, so a little emotion please.

Note: This article has also appeared in the 9 June edition of Financial World

Kishore-Aided Kitschy Fun

Opening shot: Shiny disco balls float by in the sky, dancers appear with guitars that have fire blazing out of its ends, accompanied by the familiar oh so popular tune and notes of Kishore Kumar’s Om Shanti Om ; Just 5 minutes into the musical and we knew we were going to have a gala time. 

‘Jhumroo, a celebration of Kishore Kumar’ does well because it is just that, a celebration of the magnificence of Kishore Kumar.

It’s a simple script with elaborate touches.

It’s the story of Bhola played by actor Gaurav Gera, a happy-go-lucky guy, a big Kishore Kumar fan but with no singing talent whatsoever, hopelessly in love with his office colleague Meena

Meena played by Shweta Gulati, doesn’t in the remotest like Bhola, but she does like singers.

There in begins Bhola’s quest to win over Meena. He takes part in Meena’s favourite singing reality show, with a little ‘inside’ help, when Kishore Kumar’s spirit joins hands with Bhola.

Like in any filmi story, there is the villain who can come in between Bhola’s musical dreams too. Will Bhola win the show and Meena’s heart before everyone finds out the truth is the familiar storyline. And therefore this familiarity needed some solid backing from a lot of other ends.

Thankfully everything does match the grandeur of Kishore Kumar’s songs. The sets, both virtual and real, are opulent and very snazzy. Virtual sets are used to set the moods,the various different backdrops on a scale we’ve never seen before. The virtual spirit of Kishore Kumar is so believable that its eerie. There was not one technical snag and you’re transported from one scene to the other scene almost seamlessly. The choreography by Ashley Lobo is retro and fun, the kind where you think 'Oh I wish I was doing that jig up on that stage.’ 

And then, there’s the aerial choreography. Actors, dancers constantly fly up in the air effortlessly. Infact there’s an entire song, Pyar ke is khel main originally from the film Jugnu, that’s been choreographed with the actors on hand gliders. Fun, indeed.

The negatives? It’s a little too long and we don’t mean the songs. The more than a dozen Kishore Kumar songs is appropriate, you may even be left asking for more. But some of the scenes like Bhola’s introduction and a Navratri scene could have been easily chopped down.

But even then, Jhumroo doesn’t falter. We often found ourselves in the midst of an extremely enthusiastic audience, clapping and hooting along to some classic songs.

In this theatre musical deprived country of ours, Jhumroo is kitschy fun!

Note: A copy of this article has appeared in The Financial World and tehelka.com